Music Video: The Drill - The Drill

Kind of old, but I love this music video. The dancing horse is hilarious and kind of creepy.

De-Creative Writing: I Have A Strong Distaste For Black Primates

Behold the Gorilla; A creature of mischief, violence, and sodomy.
They have black skin, and dark hair. At night you can only see the whites of their eyes and that hideous, toothy grin. The beast could be stealing the bike out of your shed right at this very moment and you would not realize it until it's too late. It could even decide to come into your house while you are sleeping and violate you, your wife, or even your children. God help you if you are unlucky enough to have one move into your neighborhood.

Yes, they can even steal a house. I know this because several have stolen houses in my area. They only know how to take something they have not worked for. That lawnmower you just bought? It will vanish my friend, and it will be sold for crack money. They may be animals, but somehow they have learned these things. They have tasted the sweet taste of crack and they crave it above all else.

Fuck Bears. Bears are cuddly stuffed children toys compared to this menace. They have evolved the capability to blend into their surroundings, and disguise themselves as Humans. If you ever are confronted by one... Don't panic, for they have one weakness... Water. They cannot swim. This biological impairment can be used as an advantage to the non-ape. Calmly seek refuge in a pool, pond, or just some large body of water. The beast will soon lose interest and will find another non-ape to harass.

These are dark times. Be prepared and understand the problem.

May the great Cthulu protect you and your family.

The Vidya Games: Dead Rising 2

It's been a long time since I last posted and I will tell you why. For the past week or so I have been playing the leaked copy of Dead Rising 2. Now I know piracy is bad for companies and all, but these days it seems game companies are releasing complete shit. So before I waste $60 or so on a game I like to try it out. Today is DR2's official release date for North America but thanks to the internet I was able to play it about a week prior to today.

This game has surpassed all of my expectations from the beginning. In fact it has renewed my interest in the tired and over saturated zombie survival genre in video games. You can combine almost anything in game to make a weapon and you can even use stuff like trashcans and even park benches from the environment as a weapon if you are in a rough spot.

It's also a surprisingly challenging game. The psychopath battles are pretty brutal, while later in the game the zombies become an insane menace to deal with. While the story is not incredibly deep or amazing the timed objective and rescue missions add a refreshing touch to the game play while giving a sense of urgency to the player for completing them on time.

As with DR1 you can level up your character by earning points by killing zombies, completing missions and such. Unlike DR1 however, you can combine certain objects in game to make some amazing and hilarious weapons. The "Power Guitar" for instance is an electric guitar combined with an amplifier, when you use it the character begins riffing on it causing nearby zombie's heads to explode. Also, the unlockable items and multiple endings add a lot to the replay value of the game.

Pictured: Pure Awesome

I will be buying this game so I can play co-op mode, and I feel Capcom deserves my money for this amazing game. Right now Steam has it for $39.99 USD, which in my opinion is a steal. This game is worth much more compared to the complete shit on the market right now. So, if you like a zombie survival game that's challenging and fun I really recommend purchasing this game!

Music Video: Fuck The Mother Fucker

Listen to the lyrics... This is WIN!

The Protomen: The Will Of One Music Video

If you love Megaman, you should give this themed music group a listen. It's by the band "The Protomen" and they are a American musical group that had their first live performance in 2004. Enjoy!

APB: All Points Bulletin - The Game Is Officially Dead...

Well folks, the game APB finally died. Time of death was 3:30 AM EST on September the 17th in the year of 2010. To everyone who said "You don't know what you're talking about!" when I said the game had about a month to live (about a month ago on the forums)... I fucking told you so! It didn't take a genius to figure this shit out.

I feel sad however, because in the last few hours of the game I made some new friends that I will probably not see again. We were playing some pretty kick ass missions against some bullshit aimbotters. We probably took about 8 missions or so and about 6 of them were against obvious botters. We lost some missions, but in the end we went out playing with our honor intact.

This game was destroyed because of RTW's poor business decisions. Nothing more. People like to place blame on the botters themselves or even the doom-sayers on the forums, but really everything could have been fixed by the creators. One thing that really shows their incompetence as a company however is on the main site (which as of writing this went down along with the game servers). In the news section, one day before they announced they were shutting everything down, they mentioned that the latest patch was released and was available for everyone to download. I really don't get that. Oh well.

Not all hope is lost however. There is a group of individuals who have already started developing a private server. At Action District, they have the launcher available and you can even log in, but as of right now they do not have the actual game servers completed and up and running. I'm betting dedicated gamers will do a better job of running this game than the actual company who made it. Hopefully they can get this done quicker than SWGEmu. It took that group about 3-4 years to complete everything but thats a whole other story.

The lesson we can all take from this post-mortem: RTW clearly had no clue what the fuck they were doing as a company, and no one should ever buy anything from them ever again.

Operation: TURBO-COCK Episode FOURRRRR!!!!!!

Operation: TURBO-COCK Episode THREE!!!

Mental Health: Koro: The Incredible (Imaginary) Shrinking Penis

Koro is a disorder where the patient is taken with the belief that his genitals are shrinking, fearing his member will disappear. Koro is a culture-specific syndrome, meaning that it's only recognized within a specific culture, obviously. Koro is rooted in China, although some isolated cases have occurred worldwide.

"I was in the pool! I WAS IN THE POOL!"

The patient can suffer from episodes usually lasting several hours. Even if a doctor examines the patient and measures no change whatsoever in the penis of the individual, the patient can still believe, hysterically that their penis is shrinking away to nothing. The only treatment western medicine can apply is to give the patient a lesson in human anatomy and assure them that their penis is fine.

"Dude, your dick is fine... No Homo."

However in China the traditional treatment is to pray to the gods and ask Taoist priests to exercise the demons out of their crotch. During this, they hit gongs or beat the person to drive the demons out and they are given a concoction of herbs, and ground up animal dick. Yummy.

Would you let this guy near your penis?

Operation: TURBO-COCK Episode TWO

Anibomination: Operation: TURBO-COCK

I present to you all my own comic. It's genre shall be unique and will be called an "Anibomination". It will make nearly no sense, and it's construction will appear middle school level in quality. But it will be hilarious.Without any further ado I present "Operation: TURBO-COCK" Episode ONE!!!!

How To Not Make A Web Comic

This is the result of 15 minutes in Paint.NET. Give it a try, take out all the text in basicinstructions.net web comics and you have 4 frames of men awkwardly staring at each other. The writing is kinda funny, but to be honest why do they even bother making it into a web comic. You could make it into a small vignette and it would appear less pretentious.

Korean KFC Commercial

I'm fucking speechless.

If this aired in the USA, heads would be rolling. The NAACP's collective balls would be emptying out into their pants from the excitement.

Blogger's Note

I have come to the conclusion that I don't post enough original content. You know why? It's fucking HARD! I love writing, but coming up with original material is difficult. It's even harder to come up with content people will actually like.

The format I originally had planned for my blog was to have about three posts a day, mostly with content I found on the interwebs that I wanted to share, with at least one post a day with something that I actually made. Usually my opinion on something, or a life experience.

Since inception of my blog, and this format, I have found myself deviating from that. So, from here on I will try to put additional effort to adhere to the original idea I had.

Taking A Break

I will be taking a break from blogging today. Unfortunately I've things I must do IRL. So this will be my only post. I will provide some hooters however... Enjoy!

YouTube Comedy: Judge Judy In Half Speed

This is pretty funny. As obviously made clear by the title, it's a video clip from the show Judge Judy in half speed. While watching it, take your mind to the wonderful land of imagination and pretend the entire cast is completely baked out of their skulls.

Smoke some weed before watching  to experience in quarter speed.

Healthy Living: Healthy Pancake Mix

You know... In case you ain't got none... Bitch!



Why buy ready made pancake mix for probably 1/3rd the cost, when you can get ripped off by the "Organic" food industry?

Animooted TV: Xavier Renegade Angel

Xavier Renegade Angel was a 3D cartoon made by PFFFR. The same folks responsible for Wonder Showzen. It's about the nonsensical journeys of some kind of hippy-snake-cat-bird hybrid. It was animated in dated 3D graphics at the time, adding to the hilarity. The show only had 2 seasons, with its last episode airing on April 16th 2009. Below is episode 1 "What Life D-D-Doth" which originally aired November 4th of 07'. The episodes were only around 11 minutes long, like Aqua Teen Hunger Force so it's over pretty quickly. Enjoy!

My Morning Coffee

Maybe it's because I got 2 1/2 hours of sleep, but until I get my morning cup of Joe I feel like the Tourettes Guy. I'm actually a pretty nice guy normally. Right now my eyes feel like some prostitutes nasty, hairy vag was being rubbed on my eyeballs in my sleep. Feels bad, man.

So... YOU CAN'T DO SHIT!! WITHOUT YOUR BALLS!!

What's your favorite Tourettes Guy moment?

Fit Women on YouTube

You know... I'm slightly embarrassed to actually write this post. I watched the below video on mute, and skipped past where shes sitting down talking. I didn't care what she had to say. I do the bare minimum to work out and keep my heart healthy. The only reason I'm thin is because of my love for stimulants. But damn do I love fit women.



Sorry if it comes off as creepy... Just being honest!