Man Takes "Street Valium" and is cheesing.

Probably the only guy to be happy that he's in the hospital.

A short post before the weekend!

Soon, the weekend will be coming up and I will not have to work my ass off for the man. As a side effect I will actually be able to post something longer than a paragraph. Before we start that however I would just like to point out that Seanbaby sucks. He tries too hard, and he picks easy targets to criticize. Uwe Boll pretty much makes fun of himself, and if you are going to make fun of hipsters try not to act like one yourself. Yes, Seanbaby is a fucking hipster. That faggoty blue/pink hair bullshit isn't fooling anyone. Also, anyone can edit a copyright friendly 60-70 year old comic book. That time period thought that cigarettes were harmless, and radiation would give you super powers. Easy targets.

So not totally a hipster.

TL;DR, Seanbaby tries too hard and is a pink haired homosexual.

Music Video: The Drill - The Drill

Kind of old, but I love this music video. The dancing horse is hilarious and kind of creepy.

De-Creative Writing: I Have A Strong Distaste For Black Primates

Behold the Gorilla; A creature of mischief, violence, and sodomy.
They have black skin, and dark hair. At night you can only see the whites of their eyes and that hideous, toothy grin. The beast could be stealing the bike out of your shed right at this very moment and you would not realize it until it's too late. It could even decide to come into your house while you are sleeping and violate you, your wife, or even your children. God help you if you are unlucky enough to have one move into your neighborhood.

Yes, they can even steal a house. I know this because several have stolen houses in my area. They only know how to take something they have not worked for. That lawnmower you just bought? It will vanish my friend, and it will be sold for crack money. They may be animals, but somehow they have learned these things. They have tasted the sweet taste of crack and they crave it above all else.

Fuck Bears. Bears are cuddly stuffed children toys compared to this menace. They have evolved the capability to blend into their surroundings, and disguise themselves as Humans. If you ever are confronted by one... Don't panic, for they have one weakness... Water. They cannot swim. This biological impairment can be used as an advantage to the non-ape. Calmly seek refuge in a pool, pond, or just some large body of water. The beast will soon lose interest and will find another non-ape to harass.

These are dark times. Be prepared and understand the problem.

May the great Cthulu protect you and your family.

The Vidya Games: Dead Rising 2

It's been a long time since I last posted and I will tell you why. For the past week or so I have been playing the leaked copy of Dead Rising 2. Now I know piracy is bad for companies and all, but these days it seems game companies are releasing complete shit. So before I waste $60 or so on a game I like to try it out. Today is DR2's official release date for North America but thanks to the internet I was able to play it about a week prior to today.

This game has surpassed all of my expectations from the beginning. In fact it has renewed my interest in the tired and over saturated zombie survival genre in video games. You can combine almost anything in game to make a weapon and you can even use stuff like trashcans and even park benches from the environment as a weapon if you are in a rough spot.

It's also a surprisingly challenging game. The psychopath battles are pretty brutal, while later in the game the zombies become an insane menace to deal with. While the story is not incredibly deep or amazing the timed objective and rescue missions add a refreshing touch to the game play while giving a sense of urgency to the player for completing them on time.

As with DR1 you can level up your character by earning points by killing zombies, completing missions and such. Unlike DR1 however, you can combine certain objects in game to make some amazing and hilarious weapons. The "Power Guitar" for instance is an electric guitar combined with an amplifier, when you use it the character begins riffing on it causing nearby zombie's heads to explode. Also, the unlockable items and multiple endings add a lot to the replay value of the game.

Pictured: Pure Awesome

I will be buying this game so I can play co-op mode, and I feel Capcom deserves my money for this amazing game. Right now Steam has it for $39.99 USD, which in my opinion is a steal. This game is worth much more compared to the complete shit on the market right now. So, if you like a zombie survival game that's challenging and fun I really recommend purchasing this game!

Music Video: Fuck The Mother Fucker

Listen to the lyrics... This is WIN!

The Protomen: The Will Of One Music Video

If you love Megaman, you should give this themed music group a listen. It's by the band "The Protomen" and they are a American musical group that had their first live performance in 2004. Enjoy!

APB: All Points Bulletin - The Game Is Officially Dead...

Well folks, the game APB finally died. Time of death was 3:30 AM EST on September the 17th in the year of 2010. To everyone who said "You don't know what you're talking about!" when I said the game had about a month to live (about a month ago on the forums)... I fucking told you so! It didn't take a genius to figure this shit out.

I feel sad however, because in the last few hours of the game I made some new friends that I will probably not see again. We were playing some pretty kick ass missions against some bullshit aimbotters. We probably took about 8 missions or so and about 6 of them were against obvious botters. We lost some missions, but in the end we went out playing with our honor intact.

This game was destroyed because of RTW's poor business decisions. Nothing more. People like to place blame on the botters themselves or even the doom-sayers on the forums, but really everything could have been fixed by the creators. One thing that really shows their incompetence as a company however is on the main site (which as of writing this went down along with the game servers). In the news section, one day before they announced they were shutting everything down, they mentioned that the latest patch was released and was available for everyone to download. I really don't get that. Oh well.

Not all hope is lost however. There is a group of individuals who have already started developing a private server. At Action District, they have the launcher available and you can even log in, but as of right now they do not have the actual game servers completed and up and running. I'm betting dedicated gamers will do a better job of running this game than the actual company who made it. Hopefully they can get this done quicker than SWGEmu. It took that group about 3-4 years to complete everything but thats a whole other story.

The lesson we can all take from this post-mortem: RTW clearly had no clue what the fuck they were doing as a company, and no one should ever buy anything from them ever again.

Operation: TURBO-COCK Episode FOURRRRR!!!!!!

Operation: TURBO-COCK Episode THREE!!!

Mental Health: Koro: The Incredible (Imaginary) Shrinking Penis

Koro is a disorder where the patient is taken with the belief that his genitals are shrinking, fearing his member will disappear. Koro is a culture-specific syndrome, meaning that it's only recognized within a specific culture, obviously. Koro is rooted in China, although some isolated cases have occurred worldwide.

"I was in the pool! I WAS IN THE POOL!"

The patient can suffer from episodes usually lasting several hours. Even if a doctor examines the patient and measures no change whatsoever in the penis of the individual, the patient can still believe, hysterically that their penis is shrinking away to nothing. The only treatment western medicine can apply is to give the patient a lesson in human anatomy and assure them that their penis is fine.

"Dude, your dick is fine... No Homo."

However in China the traditional treatment is to pray to the gods and ask Taoist priests to exercise the demons out of their crotch. During this, they hit gongs or beat the person to drive the demons out and they are given a concoction of herbs, and ground up animal dick. Yummy.

Would you let this guy near your penis?

Operation: TURBO-COCK Episode TWO

Anibomination: Operation: TURBO-COCK

I present to you all my own comic. It's genre shall be unique and will be called an "Anibomination". It will make nearly no sense, and it's construction will appear middle school level in quality. But it will be hilarious.Without any further ado I present "Operation: TURBO-COCK" Episode ONE!!!!

How To Not Make A Web Comic

This is the result of 15 minutes in Paint.NET. Give it a try, take out all the text in basicinstructions.net web comics and you have 4 frames of men awkwardly staring at each other. The writing is kinda funny, but to be honest why do they even bother making it into a web comic. You could make it into a small vignette and it would appear less pretentious.

Korean KFC Commercial

I'm fucking speechless.

If this aired in the USA, heads would be rolling. The NAACP's collective balls would be emptying out into their pants from the excitement.

Blogger's Note

I have come to the conclusion that I don't post enough original content. You know why? It's fucking HARD! I love writing, but coming up with original material is difficult. It's even harder to come up with content people will actually like.

The format I originally had planned for my blog was to have about three posts a day, mostly with content I found on the interwebs that I wanted to share, with at least one post a day with something that I actually made. Usually my opinion on something, or a life experience.

Since inception of my blog, and this format, I have found myself deviating from that. So, from here on I will try to put additional effort to adhere to the original idea I had.

Taking A Break

I will be taking a break from blogging today. Unfortunately I've things I must do IRL. So this will be my only post. I will provide some hooters however... Enjoy!

YouTube Comedy: Judge Judy In Half Speed

This is pretty funny. As obviously made clear by the title, it's a video clip from the show Judge Judy in half speed. While watching it, take your mind to the wonderful land of imagination and pretend the entire cast is completely baked out of their skulls.

Smoke some weed before watching  to experience in quarter speed.

Healthy Living: Healthy Pancake Mix

You know... In case you ain't got none... Bitch!



Why buy ready made pancake mix for probably 1/3rd the cost, when you can get ripped off by the "Organic" food industry?

Animooted TV: Xavier Renegade Angel

Xavier Renegade Angel was a 3D cartoon made by PFFFR. The same folks responsible for Wonder Showzen. It's about the nonsensical journeys of some kind of hippy-snake-cat-bird hybrid. It was animated in dated 3D graphics at the time, adding to the hilarity. The show only had 2 seasons, with its last episode airing on April 16th 2009. Below is episode 1 "What Life D-D-Doth" which originally aired November 4th of 07'. The episodes were only around 11 minutes long, like Aqua Teen Hunger Force so it's over pretty quickly. Enjoy!

My Morning Coffee

Maybe it's because I got 2 1/2 hours of sleep, but until I get my morning cup of Joe I feel like the Tourettes Guy. I'm actually a pretty nice guy normally. Right now my eyes feel like some prostitutes nasty, hairy vag was being rubbed on my eyeballs in my sleep. Feels bad, man.

So... YOU CAN'T DO SHIT!! WITHOUT YOUR BALLS!!

What's your favorite Tourettes Guy moment?

Fit Women on YouTube

You know... I'm slightly embarrassed to actually write this post. I watched the below video on mute, and skipped past where shes sitting down talking. I didn't care what she had to say. I do the bare minimum to work out and keep my heart healthy. The only reason I'm thin is because of my love for stimulants. But damn do I love fit women.



Sorry if it comes off as creepy... Just being honest!

Humanities: The Technological Singularity

As we advance technologically as a species, we will approach a singularity. Where Moore's law eventually collapses in on itself as we improve technology, and technology simultaneously improves us creating a feedback loop of sorts. I don't believe anybody can accurately tell when it will happen yet, but as long as we are not annihilated it will eventually happen.

Within about 100 years humanity has advanced a great deal already. In the late 1800's you were considered lucky if you lived past the age of 40. Advances in medicine, public sanitation, as well as electronics (fairly recently) and materials such as plastics has made it not uncommon to see people live well into their 80's or even 90's. Motor vehicles, airplanes, micro-processors, the Internet. All developed roughly within the last 100 years. Every day more amazing advances are being developed.

Our development does have a dark side however, and I'm not talking about the creation of the myriad of ways we blow holes into each other. We are slowly becoming despondent as a species. People spend more time attached to their gadgets, letting our technology do most of the thinking for us. Most of our lives have become digital. I don't consider myself a Luddite, in fact the Internet has opened a huge gateway for us to communicate as a whole. But we must remember that ultimately, we are animals. Evolution did not intend for us to sit down staring at a screen all day. If we continue down this path of letting our own devices constantly distract us from reality we will begin to stagnate as a species.

Feel free to comment, I would like to read other people's views on this topic.

Music: SomaFM

SomaFM is a listener supported, commercial free streaming internet music station. They started in some guy's basement in San Francisco as a micro radio station. In 2000 they switched to an internet only medium.

I listen to their content every day. If you like ambient/IDM music you should give them a try. And hey, if you like it enough and have some money to throw around, give them a few bucks. They are completely supported by their listeners to remain commercial free. My favorite stream on their site is "Space Station Soma". It's a mixture of ambient and mid-tempo electronica, perfect music for just chilling.

Vidya Games: APB by Real Time Worlds

I actually pre-ordered this game and participated in the games "Key to the City" event, which was basically an open beta before official release. At first I loved the game. I spent a good 2 hours in the social district pimping out my character. I played my 10 hours.. Then found about 5 extra promo codes and created dummy accounts so I could continue playing because I liked the game so much. During the KTTC event I did experience a few failures inherent in the game. The seriously flawed matchmaking system, lame single player missions, horribly unbalanced weapons, and aimbotters. I was willing to see past this at first, and after about a month from the games official release they improved the matchmaking system, and have definitely moved in the right direction towards refining how the missions play. They even improved much of the weapon issues but at the same time they broke other weapons. The weapon balance issues however are always expected in a new action shooter game, it can take a while to flesh all that out.

There are a few reasons why now I am a more casual player of this game, and I certainly hope they fix these problems soon. One huge issue is the current amount of people aimbotting in this game. It has seriously gotten to ridiculous levels. Legit players are even asking aimbotters how/where to aquire the 3rd party aimbotting programs in game, just so they can play against other botters without getting their asses handed to themselves. The game has the PunkBuster symbol on the loading screen, yet you can safely kill the background process while playing the game with no consequence. When they actually turned PB on server side, about 3 weeks after release, they introduced game breaking lag that really pissed off a lot of their player base.

Another huge reason is RTW's lack of communication and customer service with their player base about correcting current issues. If you ask them what they are doing about botters, they always in an almost preprogrammed way say "We are working on the issue.". This complete indifference on RTW's part has led to a group of APB players to start their own "Wall of Shame" to dish out their own brand of e-justice against the botting problem. This really should not be necessary. The gamers responsibility for the game ends when they pay the company for the product. As a customer I really don't demand much. It's not like I'm asking for them to give me sexual favors, just solid answers and actually addressing the issue. A lot can be done with just sincere communication. Overall they come off as just not caring, and companies who don't care about their customers usually don't turn much of a profit. That's probably one of the reasons they are currently in administration (bankruptcy) and are currently trying to sell the IP/assets for the game.

RTW raised $50 Million dollars for the development of this game and originally started development 5 years ago. In the first month of release they only sold 10 thousand copies in North America. Since the game was released on June 29th of this year the game has had a constantly dwindling player base. I honestly hope this game does not get shut down. I really want it to succeed, but if I had a hand in the purchase of the IP, the only reason I would buy it would be to get my hands on the code for the fantastic customization features of the game.

Overall, I really would not suggest buying this game. At least not before a more responsible company actually picks up the game with the intention of fixing the gigantic mess this game has been since inception.

Cool Story Bro...

Story time!

I wanted to post this yesterday after it had happened, but I was so completely pissed about what had happened all I could do was pop a few Valiums and take a nap. In the afternoon, I was driving around the rural outskirts of a small town just outside of the city I'm in. It was a rather beautiful day out and I was just enjoying the country scenery, having a Zen moment. Now mind you, I am an EXTREMELY careful driver. I've taken defensive driving courses and I always look about 10-15 seconds ahead of my current heading. Anyways, a city truck was heading in the opposite direction of me. About 15-20 feet before we passed each other, a huge fucking weed whacker of some sorts just tumbled out and fell right in front of my path. I did not have enough time to slam on the breaks and avoid the collision, but I did have enough reaction time to make sure the gas powered motor of the landscaping tool went in between my tires so at least I didn't have to worry about fucking up my tires or possibly bending my rims. As per the standard procedure, I turned on my hazard lights and pulled over to the side. I got out and inspected the damage as the jackass landscaper pulled up behind me (Without turning on his hazard lights, this guy was REALLY not bright). This old fat sweaty guy with a scowl on his face got out of the truck. He didn't say "Sorry." or "My bad." he just kept staring at me like I was some kind of fucking wizard or something. So immediately my first sentence was "Well, nice going jackass!". I was pretty pissed, this idiot could have prevented this from happening with a piece of rope... fuck even a shoestring could have prevented that accident. He then said "Who are you calling a jackass?!" I responded with "You! Jackass! You're the only person in the truck!".

After realizing that the damage to my car wasn't that bad I actually apologized for what I said. He then told me he was going to call it in, and I told him I really didn't have the time to deal with this (I had a person I needed to meet). After I explained this to him he then yelled "I'M CALLING IT IN!". At this point I realized this fat nothing just wanted to fuck my day up because of what I said earlier. So naturally, I flipped him off, told him to suck it, jumped in my car and left.

Soooo, about 4 hours later a state trooper showed up at my home. He was a nice guy. I explained to him what had happened and that really the damage wasn't much. I was able to actually snap everything back in place for the most part. He then told me "That's fine, but if you try to go after the state for damages we will place charges against you for hit and skip." My car OBLITERATED the weed whacker so I figured the state suffered more damages than me, cost wise. So, I apologized to the trooper for running from the scene. I told him that I hope they realized they need to tie down equipment in their truck next time, and that I was lucky it didn't go through my windshield and into my skull. After that statement we awkwardly bid each other a fine evening and he left.

It was indeed an experience to remember. Thanks for letting me vent, and feel free to comment!

Twitter Feed!

I decided to add a feed to my Twitter on the blog. Feel free to follow me on that if you are so inclined. Also, many thanks to everyone who is supporting my blog. Really, thanks a bunch, your support will be reciprocated! Together we will become one really big happy e-family *hugs*.

Cringe Comedy: Spike Can Dance - Go My Son

Quite possibly the most odd video I've ever seen. Watching it is like watching someone violate themselves with a cheese grater, hilarious but at the same time it makes me want to puke. It's obvious this man "Spike" is doing these videos just for the lulz... or at least I'm certainly hoping...



Is this gentleman an aspie?

Science: A Universe From Nothing by Lawrence Krauss

Lawrence Krauss is an author of many books on physics, some of you may have read his book "The Physics of Star Trek". He is also a professor for ASU's  physics department. In the video he goes on to explain the possible origins of the universe, as well as how it may end. The video is over an hour long, but it gets very interesting. So if you have nothing planned for the next hour I suggest watching it in full.

Humanities: StoryCorps

StoryCorps is a organization that is archiving a verbal history of sorts from Americans. The description on their website states:

"Our mission is to provide Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to record, share, and preserve the stories of our lives.

Since 2003, StoryCorps has collected and archived more than 30,000 interviews from more than 60,000 participants. Each conversation is recorded on a free CD to share, and is preserved at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress. StoryCorps is one of the largest oral history projects of its kind, and millions listen to our broadcasts on public radio and the web."

Below is the story "Germans in the Woods" as told by Joseph Robertson.
It's an artistic rendition of this gentleman's memory about an event that happened to him in WWII.




It's very touching, and provides a good window into the human soul. Showing an example of our ultimate compassion towards each other.
Head over to StoryCorps.org for more information.

Music: Dan Deacon's Paddling Ghost

I have been following the career of Dan Deacon since his spectacular appearance at the 2007 Pitchfork music festival. Here is a music video of the song Paddling Ghost from his latest album titled Bromst.




Over the span of three years he certainly has refined his art. Hopefully we will see more examples of his musical expertise in the coming years.

Vidya Games: Cortex Command

I've been playing this game for a while so I thought I should share it with you guys.
According to Data Realm's website, cortex command is a 2D side scrolling game where you control robotic bodies and machines. The point of the game is to harvest gold to beat your competitors while defending your "Brain" from being liquefied by the enemy. The game uses pixel graphics and while that look may be dated, it actually adds nostalgia to the game experience. Really the physics for this game are amazing. You can interact with every particle. Be it a speck of dirt or sand, or the remains of fallen combatants or vehicles.
They have missions where you have to complete an objective, and skirmish mode where you build your base before the round begins and you have to survive an onslaught of enemies trying to take your lands gold while also trying to get into your base to destroy your brain. Below is a video of one of the games missions.

I highly suggest giving the game a try. Head on over to Data Realms and get a copy. It's also for Mac.

Are those.... Space Nazis???

I've known about this for a while, maybe some of you have seen this as well. It's a teaser trailer for an upcoming indie movie called "Iron Sky". Basically the premise of the story is that the Nazi's secretly evacuated to the dark side of the Moon right before they had their asses handed to them on Earth. They established a colony there and are preparing to invade Earth again.

The movie is ultimately a dark comedy and is really not meant to offend.
If you want to read more about the upcoming film and show them some support head on over to IronSky.Net.

An intresting read.

I myself have been a huge fan of Isaac Asimov's writing.
One short story in particular "The Last Question" I find to be rather mind blowing.
I would rather not ruin the story for you guys in this post so here is a link to the short story in full:

MultiVAX "The Last Question"

The short story has been posted for free by the people at MultiVAX.com.
I highly suggest reading it. It is an incredible work of literary art IMO.

In The Beginning...

Hey Internet!

It's my very first blog post!
I plan on putting up interesting posts regarding my particular interests.
A little bit of everything, from odd stuff I found on the inter-tubes to articles on science and vidya gaming.
If you like this blog, please subscribe. Comments are welcome!

ENJOY!