Saturday, September 11, 2010

Cool Story Bro...

Story time!

I wanted to post this yesterday after it had happened, but I was so completely pissed about what had happened all I could do was pop a few Valiums and take a nap. In the afternoon, I was driving around the rural outskirts of a small town just outside of the city I'm in. It was a rather beautiful day out and I was just enjoying the country scenery, having a Zen moment. Now mind you, I am an EXTREMELY careful driver. I've taken defensive driving courses and I always look about 10-15 seconds ahead of my current heading. Anyways, a city truck was heading in the opposite direction of me. About 15-20 feet before we passed each other, a huge fucking weed whacker of some sorts just tumbled out and fell right in front of my path. I did not have enough time to slam on the breaks and avoid the collision, but I did have enough reaction time to make sure the gas powered motor of the landscaping tool went in between my tires so at least I didn't have to worry about fucking up my tires or possibly bending my rims. As per the standard procedure, I turned on my hazard lights and pulled over to the side. I got out and inspected the damage as the jackass landscaper pulled up behind me (Without turning on his hazard lights, this guy was REALLY not bright). This old fat sweaty guy with a scowl on his face got out of the truck. He didn't say "Sorry." or "My bad." he just kept staring at me like I was some kind of fucking wizard or something. So immediately my first sentence was "Well, nice going jackass!". I was pretty pissed, this idiot could have prevented this from happening with a piece of rope... fuck even a shoestring could have prevented that accident. He then said "Who are you calling a jackass?!" I responded with "You! Jackass! You're the only person in the truck!".

After realizing that the damage to my car wasn't that bad I actually apologized for what I said. He then told me he was going to call it in, and I told him I really didn't have the time to deal with this (I had a person I needed to meet). After I explained this to him he then yelled "I'M CALLING IT IN!". At this point I realized this fat nothing just wanted to fuck my day up because of what I said earlier. So naturally, I flipped him off, told him to suck it, jumped in my car and left.

Soooo, about 4 hours later a state trooper showed up at my home. He was a nice guy. I explained to him what had happened and that really the damage wasn't much. I was able to actually snap everything back in place for the most part. He then told me "That's fine, but if you try to go after the state for damages we will place charges against you for hit and skip." My car OBLITERATED the weed whacker so I figured the state suffered more damages than me, cost wise. So, I apologized to the trooper for running from the scene. I told him that I hope they realized they need to tie down equipment in their truck next time, and that I was lucky it didn't go through my windshield and into my skull. After that statement we awkwardly bid each other a fine evening and he left.

It was indeed an experience to remember. Thanks for letting me vent, and feel free to comment!


  1. Hahahahaahahha that sucks dick.
    I would find that guy and fuck with him